March 23, 2023:

A life well lived is a life that keeps in mind Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…” Accepting and understanding the truth of this allows you to grasp the depth of Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Positives and negatives, highs and lows, hills and valleys—He’s with you through it all, a constant comfort.

Even though anxiety, depression, and sorrow still sometimes show their ugly little faces, there is nothing that can separate you from God’s love. Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” My life is not what I had planned. It does not match my vision. But I am happy in its simplicity. I am comforted in times of grief, calmed in times of panic, reassured in times of self-doubt, and stilled in times of anger. Giving up worries and frustrations to the Lord consistently has rooted a deep, internal connection with Christ in my soul. I feel everything now. I may cry more often than I used to, but then I think, “Remember when you were numb? This is much better.”

Regardless of my long-term faith, since placing my trust in Him entirely, I have lost nearly 40lbs, overcome several mental health issues, regained my confidence, and put fear in submission. I am now myself and not the mask I wore. There is nothing that can prevent God’s plan and purpose in your life from coming to pass. And there is nothing that could ever beat it. Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Life is hard sometimes, but it’s helpful to remember that sometimes it’s supposed to be.

February 19, 2026:

Since writing this original post, I have lost my grandfather, and my remaining grandmother is terminally ill in hospice—the two people in my life that had the most spiritual influence on me, guiding me in my faith and teaching me from their own experiences. And yet, I have peace still. I am the grateful recipient of several answered and "unanswered" prayers (no is an answer). 

I started Rooted Eagle. I'm dating the man God told me I'd marry. I've learned more about myself and how to manage stress and grief. I've gained new friends. The business where I have my full-time job has grown. So much good has happened in the midst of pain, but none of it was easy.

In the course of all of this positive, I have cried more than I ever thought was possible—truly more in the past two years than in the past ten combined. I have been tested time and time again, by God and my peers. For a time, I felt like a shell of myself, better than being numb, but barely tolerable in the day-to-day. God was speaking to me, but what He said, I could not see. I fought against it—against Rooted Eagle and against my relationship—before either could even start, I was actively ignoring the path God laid before me for them.

It took breaking me to turn me around. You see, I like to be in control. And God was showing me over and over again that I'm simply not—and that I never needed to be. I wrote the above post and then forgot to follow my own advice when things got hard again—the lesson I'd already learned. But here I am today, no less human, nonetheless on a better path. The one I couldn't see. The one God could. "Life is hard, but it's helpful to remember that sometimes it's supposed to be." I am stronger and happier today, and more fulfilled, because it was hard—not in spite of it.

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."